Nekotalia: A Day In the Life
by DragonSoulH
Summary: Just a series of short stories about the nation cats. What sort of troubles will they get into? Will Italycat get to eat pasta? Will Canadacat be in this series? (Who's that?) And will Greececat really get to spend a whole day licking his balls? Join us as we find out!
1. Chapter 1: With the Monster

Chapter 1: With the Monster

It was Saturday. Again. And that could only mean one thing.

Americat had staked out the purrfect spot atop his human's tallest bookshelf and was waiting for the Beast to appear. It came at the same time every week, after his post-breakfast nap but before his pre-dinner nap. And each week he and his human did mortal battle with the Beast.

His tail swished with excitement as his human came downstairs and began to move his toys off the floor. That was always the first sign.

She saw him on the bookshelf and made high-pitched noises of affection. Normally that was his cue to purr and rub against her legs so she would pet him. Or feed him. Wait, was it dinnertime yet?

No, he had to stay focused. The Beast was coming.

"Hey, widdle Alfred! Who's a good kitty? You are! Yes you are!"

Yes, she was a wonderful human, if a bit simpleminded. But that gave him a great purpose in life, to be her protector. Her hero, one could say; that was what he said.

"Now, you're going to be good today, right? No fussing or scratching?"

"Meow, meow?! Meow!" (Come on, what are you waiting for?! It'll be here any minute!"

She walked out of the living room and Americat tensed up as the closet door squeaked on its hinges. This was it!

The Beast began to roar and he heard his human moving around to keep from being eaten. They came closer and closer…

There it was! The Beast's head had appeared around the corner!

Americat leapt into action. With a yowl he pounced from the bookshelf and landed on the Beast's tiny skull. He swatted at its glowing eye, claws unsheathed, but to no avail. The Beast's roars grew louder and it jerked violently backwards - he just managed to hang on and clamped his teeth onto its long thin neck.

His human was battling too. She was grappling with the Beast's long neck, trying to choke it into submission. Her face was furious and she was shouting something - probably trying to intimidate the Beast. If she could do it he just might get the upper hand.

It was a long and heroic battle as he scrambled around the Beast, scratching and biting at its head, neck, body, and its long skinny tail. His human maintained her chokehold on the thing's neck, but the Beast kept up the fight by constantly moving around the room.

Then at last, when Americat began to tire, his human dropped the Beast's neck. He leaped away - it was nearly vanquished!

"MEOW!" (I'm the HERO!)

With a mighty smack of his heroic paw, the Beast fell silent. But he knew it was not dead - it would return again next Saturday.

As Alfred strolled away for his afternoon nap in the sun, his owner just shook her head and chuckled. Such a silly cat, getting all worked up over a little vacuuming every single week.


	2. Chapter 2: With the Chase

Chapter 2: With the Chase

Ah, what a lovely day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and there was a smashing good documentary on the telly. Britaincat was curled up in a warm blanket which was kept on the couch, listening to the programme and enjoying the close presence of his human. He was no lapcat and his human had learned this quickly; now, aside from an occasional pat or stroke, she left him to himself.

Dozing, he barely noticed when she stood and left the living room. He did notice however when he heard her moving about in the kitchen. Tea time already?

She returned with a steaming cup and set it down but did not sit. Instead she gave him a pat on the head and started to scratch gently behind his ears. It was very soothing and he allowed himself a low purr.

"Hey, Arthur. What a good kitty. Such a sleepy kitty, aren't you?"

The words were nonsense but the tone was comforting. This was what life was all about.

Then she suddenly grabbed his scruff in a powerful pinch and pulled it taut. His green eyes flew open and his heart began to pound. But he was frozen - something about his scruff kept him from being able to move. Though he could still talk.

"MRRRROWWWWWWW!" (I say, this is very undignified! Release me, let me go this instant, turn me loose!)

As he raged, wishing that he could run or fight or anything, he felt something drip onto the back of his neck. It was cold and wet and it stung slightly.

He endured the torture for what felt like an eternity and then suddenly his scruff was released. Sweet freedom!

He shot across the room and tucked himself into the darkest corner he could find. He glared out at the world - how dare his human do this to him, Britaincat, the purrfect gentlecatly feline?!

She walked towards him; he clamped his ears down and growled. Not very mannerly but that tart had asked for it!

"Now, now," she said soothingly. "Come on. It's not like that hurt, did it?"

Bloody wench. That little spectacle had left his pride in shambles.

She knelt and he growled louder. But she ignored the warning and reached out to try to pet him and win back his favour.

"Mrrowwww!" (Have at thee!)

He struck her, his claws digging into the tender skin of her hand. Blood welled up immediately and she pulled her hand back with a yelp. A hiss completed the punishment and put her in her place.

"Hissssssss! Yowl!" (Take that! Haha, not so tough now!)

His human cursed and retreated, leaving him to sulk and fume. It really did gall him to behave so rudely - but she had started it!

At least she had the decency to let him recover his dignity in peace. He fussed at the spot on the back of his neck; scratching ridded him of the itch but still he knew that liquid was mixed into his fur. But no matter how he contorted himself he simply couldn't lick the back of his own neck.

"Meow!" (Bollocks!)

Then something caught his eye - something on the carpet. It trembled minutely, dancing before his eyes. He focused on it with his whole being.

It began to creep along the carpet, heading for the space beneath the couch. But nothing could escape the mighty Britaincat!

"Mmmr…" (Prepare yourself…)

He pounced! His strong paws slapped down atop the tiny creature - victory was his! But when he moved his paws, there was nothing there.

"Mrow?" (What the devil?) Then he spotted it again; somehow it'd slipped to his left.

Three more times he struck at it but each time it escaped; he grew more and more frustrated as his paws remained empty. He'd forgotten all about the spot on the back of his neck, determined to bring this strange little creature to heel.

Then it vanished for good and he returned to reality when he heard his human laugh. He looked up at her indignantly - what was so damn amusing?!

She reached down and dropped some kibbles in front of him, giving him a pat as he sniffed at them curiously. Tuna-flavor - jolly good!

As Arthur dove into his treats with gusto, his owner smiled down at him. Despite the scratch, he really was a good kitty. He simply didn't like having his Frontline put on.

As she went back into the kitchen for a snack, she put the laser pointer back into its drawer for next time.


	3. Chapter 3: With the Game

Chapter 3: With the Game

It was Friday, January 5th, 8:13pm. Germanycat had had a long day - after breakfast his human had left for work and he had begun his patrols around the house. In rigorous order he checked every door and window, and upon finding them secure he began his sentry duties at each in turn. Squirrels had been known to come directly up to the windows and he kept sharp watch, ready to turn them back with his burly muscles.

At precisely 5pm his human returned from work; he was, of course, present in the front hall to greet her with a firm meow. After a hearty dinner they sat together - his human read and he catnapped.

Now at last it was late in the evening and time for a much anticipated event. Much like Germanycat his human kept to a routine, and every Friday at 8:20 exactly she readied a game for him.

He perched in his usual spot in the room of tile and just waited. Precisely at 8:20 his human entered and the game began.

He climbed onto the side of the deep basin and surveyed his targets. He chose one and reached out a questing paw, chuckling as the target vanished in a flash.

"Oh, Ludwig. You're ridiculous."

"Meow." (Not really.)

Actually nothing could be further from the truth. Germanycat wasn't one for playing games most days - these thirty minutes on Friday nights were the sole exception to the rule. After all, everyone knew that a certain amount of regulated fun was important for one's health, mentally and physically.

He continued the game, choosing more and more difficult targets, challenging himself in accuracy and reach. He was an expert at this game - no other cat took practice as seriously as he!

Then he saw it: a target at the far end of the basin, possibly farther away than he would be able to reach. But it was too tempting to pass up.

He leaned and reached. And reached. And reached. And then he swiped!

He got the target but the instant he did he knew that it'd been a mistake. The movement made him overbalance - he struggled to keep from falling, his claws scratching helplessly on the porcelain. But it was no use.

The explosion of mayhem that followed took his owner utterly by surprise. She'd always thought that he liked when she took her bubble baths.


	4. Chapter 4: With the Awesome

Chapter 4: With the Awesome

It'd been a long day of being awesome. Prussiacat was lounging on the back of his slave-human's couch, one eye on the front door as he waited for her to arrive home. Then it would be time for dinner and attention. Hours of attention - just what an awesome cat like him deserved!

He heard her footsteps on the walkway outside and prepared to pounce. Then the click of the key in the lock - his magnificent Arsch began to wiggle.

Then the door opened an as soon as he saw his slave's eyes he leaped! Darting over he wound himself around her legs while talking as fast as he could.

"Meow! Meow, meow! Mew, meow! Mrrow!" (Finally you're home! 'Bout damn time! Get some dinner ready and settle in to hear about mein awesome day! Sich beeilen!)

"Hi Gilly! How was your day, hm?"

"Meeeeowww!" (Zhat's vhat I'm trying to tell you!)

But suddenly he forgot all about his slave and her meaningless words. While the door was still open, an intruder from outside had gotten in! His slave hadn't noticed - she was bending down to pet him.

"Rowl!" (Vatch out!)

Prussiacat jumped, clawing his way up his slave's arm until he was on her shoulder. He meant to use her as a ladder to get to the intruder, but as soon as his claws hit her she shrieked and grabbed him.

"Dammit Gilly, that hurt!"

"YOWL!" (HEY!)

She dropped him unceremoniously onto the floor and Prussiacat bristled. His normally awesome slave was being so unawesome!

Then he caught sight of the intruder again. It'd snuck past them and made its way into the main part of the house. Instantly he forgot his slave and ran after it, cackling eagerly.

The whole evening he chased after the intruder but it always eluded him. He could sense its fear though - it was panicked and each time he got closer it tried to hide from him. But he was too awesomely clever for that!

His slave-human was no help at all. She went about her human routine as if nothing was wrong, not even bothering to help him. Well, he got her back in his own way.

While she was in bed going to sleep, the intruder happened to pass by her and Prussiacat grinned. He charged the bed, jumped, landed on his slave's stomach and bounced back into the air.

"OOF!"

"Mrowrowrowrow! Meow-ow!" (Keseses! That's what you get! I'm awesome!)

"Dammit Gilbert!"

He continued his chase all through the night and as the sun rose on a new day he was at last victorious. The intruder was caught and he dispatched it with a single blow. He stood over it with pride, but then realized that there was no one around to admire him.

The incessant meowing of Gilbert finally got his owner's attention and she sighed and looked down. Below his watching and expectant face there lay a dead fly between his front paws. So that's what he was chasing all night!


	5. Chapter 5: With the Naps

Chapter 5: With the Naps

Canadacat yawned and stretched his legs out lazily. His napping nook was dark and cool - it was summer now and he always felt hot under his long fur. Sometimes his human opened the windows, which helped, and sometimes she would flip a little switch high up on the wall and bring winter back, which was the best. But today was bright and sunny so his human had the windows open but there was no breeze so it wasn't pleasant.

His human had left for some reason and eager to cool down Canadacat had retreated to his nap nook. The dust had barely stirred when he arrived.

His ears twitched when he heard his human return from outside but he didn't get up. She didn't seem to notice he was in his nook - she moved around the first floor, humming happily and rearranging things. He hard her make lunch and then there was quiet for a long time. He drifted back to sleep.

He woke again when he heard her calling his name. It wasn't as bright now and the temperature had gone down. Canadacat perked up his head and sniffed the air.

"Mattie!" She walked back and forth across the creaky floor calling his name. "Mattie, where are you?"

Canadacat wanted to go answer her but he was just so comfy. He settled back down and tried to doze off again.

"Mattie?! Kitty, kitty!" His human kept calling insistently for him, preventing him from going back to sleep. "Come on kitty, where are you?!"

She sounded really worried now. He should probably get up. But…

Then he heard her pick up his Kumakichi toy and he snapped wide awake.

Matthew's owner yelped and jumped as he suddenly pushed his way out from behind the books on her bookshelf. He simply sat there as the books tumbled down and she stared at him.

"Meow." (Good evening, eh.)


	6. Chapter 6: With the Pasta

Chapter 6: With the Pasta

Italycat was hungry. His person had been gone forever and all he had to eat was cat food. His person bought yummy cat food but he wanted something else. He wanted pasta!

He sat on the kitchen floor in front of the stove and stared up at the cabinets. His tail twitched as he eyed the ones where the pasta ingredients were kept.

"Meow, meow!" (First I need flour, veh!)

He jumped up onto the counter and took the lid off the flour jar. Scooping up a large amount, he spread it in a thin layer across the counter, humming happily.

"Meow, meow!" (Now more flour and salt!)

He scooped out more flour and added some salt to the mixture. Then he went to the fridge to get an egg. He carefully took it back to the flour and salt to add it in. Gently he started to knead the pile until it became recognizable as dough.

"Meow-ow, meow, meow, mew, mao, meow, meow, meowy, meow-meowy, meow, meeeowwww~…" (When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore~…)

He worked the dough with his little paws, relishing the feeling of fresh pasta. It would be so tasty once he cooked it with some marinara and oregano~. And surely his person had some wine to go with the pasta. And once he had the pasta ready, he would make some tiramisu for dessert!

The thoughts made him purr as he worked. A lovely Italian meal was just what his lovely person deserved. When she came back she was going to be so surprised!

Then he heard the front door open and he looked up in surprise. His person was back!

"Feliciano!" Italycat's owner was shocked and horrified by the mess she stumbled into.

The flour and salt containers had been tipped over and spilled all across the counter. Outside of the spill zone, flour pawprints crisscrossed the other counters and ran in circles around the floor. The fridge was open and a carton of eggs had fallen to the floor and broken - it had made a big goopy mess that was slowly creeping across the tile. On the counter, paws buried in a whitish-yellow mass, Feliciano stood and stared calmly at her. Then he closed his eyes and seemed to smile as he purred contentedly.

"Ugh, you troublemaker," his owner groaned, but she too was smiling. She could never stay mad at him.


End file.
